What Always Happens Here…

images (14)

FIRST FEELING
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called “best friend”.
I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes
she had missed the day before and handed them to her.
She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,
I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

download

HIGH SCHOOL
The phone rang.
On the other end, it was her.
She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Sharukh khan movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.
She looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,
I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

images

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker.
My date is sick” she said; he’s not going to go well,
I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did.
that night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
I want her to be mine, but she isn’t think of me like that, and I know it.
Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,
I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

316012_582465365118058_448844548_n

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said,
“you’re my best friend, thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,
I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

650_1_kiss

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!”.
She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends,
I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

528992_422199574480870_710530320_n

Funeral
Years passed,
I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”.
At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine,
but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it.
I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends,
I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me!
`I wish I did too…` I thought to my self, and I cried…

What Always Happens Here…

Advertisements

I discovered love…

New love

I discovered love in these days…
Love that breaks you,
still keeps you together.
Love that creates distances,
but still brings you closer.
Love that is true and forever.
And I learnt that,
if you have the power to love like that,
then, God makes sure that your love finds its way.
All you have to do is just hang in there.
And wait. Wait for your time…

I wish could have a second chance… PART VII

WITHLOVEIDIOT

Every day in there, I use to think why is that he keeps me alive?
Today I figured that out.
He wasn’t fully satisfied with what he had done to me.
He first tears me away from your life;
he says “go, go live without her.”
So, I went and every day,
I live in the arms of death hoping to defeat God.
But, out there also he kept winning. He didn’t let me die.
And, then one day like magic,
he brings back you into my life again.
He brings back all my lost memories.
He makes me fly again.

And, then in a flash, he slams me back into the ground.
He wakes me up from my dreams and tells me,
“Your life is exactly how it is.
She is still mine, she will never be yours.
Because even till today,
the promise she made to me
is greater than the promise she made to you.
There is this simple little thing
you don’t seem to understand…
more than you, she is in love with me.”

I wish I could have a second chance… PART VI

withloveidiot

Her words were too dark and the loneliness
that’d keep her off from the world in a way that
no one understand how familiar she is and yet,
the distance would be striking.
There were times when I felt like he knew her out and out.
The food she likes, what mood she is in,
the clothes, the colors, and the books she like.
But, it was more often that he caught a glimpse
of a side of hers that was unidentifiable.

Sometimes, it is not so much about things that we say,
as it is about things we do not.
For those who try to listen, silence speaks louder than words.

I wish I could have a second chance… PART V

love_heart_wallpaper_52

“Life is what happens to you,
while you are making other plans”

Nice quote. I thought.
It rung very true for my current dilemma.
You think you have your life figured out
and everything is under control
and then, out of nowhere,
it smacks you in the face with something
you never imagined in your wildest dreams.

Destiny is bigger than all of us.
It is like a powerful unknown entity
with a mind of its own that just knew
what is right and what isn’t right for you in the long run.

I wish I could have a second chance… PART IV

285782_425492977484863_89442420_n

You were right. I was upset with my life.
But, if you’re going to ignore me like this,
then my life will only get worse.

Yes, you were right.
I’ve been living only half a life.
But, if you leave me,
then that half-a-life would be no more.

Yeah. You were right.
I kept you at a distance.
But today I felt that,
our distance between us so wide that,
you are not letting me to talk with you.

I never thought this would happen.
Please, come back my princess. Please.
With love, idiot.

I wish I could have a second chance… PART III

163511_426520297444410_843649351_n

Our conversations,
I wish, they could go on forever…
our sweet meetings,
I hope, they too go on forever…

In our conversations,
I found new words of love from you
then, with those words
I’d write a song.
A song, which fills hearts with love.
Let our words, become the song.
And, let the words, melt into tunes.

To turn sorrow into joy,
sing that song of love.
And, anyone who hears our song would say…
sing again…

 

I wish I could have a second chance… PART II

04

I’d fallen in love with her, the moment I first met her.
I always remember the mornings I’d woken up
early simply to chat with her.
She made me do things I’d never thought of doing.
What fascinated me the most was-how a girl like she,
a mystery-closed, reserved, and unreachable on one hand,
and yet on the other hand, like an open book,
talking, teasing and helplessly over flowing-all at once.

We were friends.
But, I secretly hoped that one day she would change her mind.
May be my love would overcome her insecurities and fear.
I was ready to wait,
though I didn’t know how long the wait would be.

I wish I could have a second chance… PART I

Image

Sometimes people take a life time
to make decisions pertaining to the heart,
only to realize that time has gone by and that
there is nothing either of them can do to bring it back.

I have to say this to you,
I am in love with you.
Since the first day I met you,
I’ve fallen for you.
I have always loved you
from that moment and beyond that too.
You had me.
And, after that entire best friend thing,
I can’t risk being close to you all the time,
being in love with you this way.
It’s killing me… wanting you.

New Kid In The Writer’s Dress…

Image

  1. Darkness.
    That’s the first thing I remember.
    It was dark and it was cold.
    But then, then I saw her.
    She was so bright and beautiful.
    She seemed to chase the darkness away.
    And when it did,
    I wasn’t scared anymore.
    Why I was there and,
    what I was meant to do, that I’ve never known.
    And, a part of me wonders if I ever will…